“What are you doing here? I didn’t invite you”
“I came to explain”
“I don’t want to listen”
“You have to”
“I said: I don’t want to; then I don’t want to”
“But – “
“Don’t but me”
“But –“
“I said don’t but me! Now, be a good boy and don’t show your face in front of me”
Silence
“What you saw – “
“– was what happened. Finish. End of sentence. Now go away”
“What you think happened – “
“– was Mira nearly sitting on your lap, knocking you over in front of everyone”
“What you said right there, is exactly the wrong thought”
“Oh. Really. I am so sorry. Maybe Mira nearly knocking you over was an accident. Maybe she meant to whisper something about a teacher. Or about everyone in the cafeteria. Or maybe it was all an illusion. Or I could be blind. Maybe you’re not really standing there in front of me; irritating me”
“Mira is my friend”
“So what? Do you do that with all your friends? I see. Now I know what went wrong”
“You don’t understand”
“I understand all too well. You liked Mira too much to push her back. You liked her too much to even consider stopping her”
Silence
“Don’t cry”
“Why? Because you deserve my tears? If you really deserved them, I wouldn’t even be crying, you know”
Silence
“Mira is my friend, you know?”
“Oh, is she really? How sweet a relationship. Sneaking dirty looks at you behind her book. How soothing”
“Are you being ironic?”
“Me? Ironic? Never”
“Stop it”
Shocked silence
“Stop what? My life? My accusations? What I saw? My tears?”
“Stop being cold!”
“I am not being cold”
“You are”
“Am not”
“Am so”
“Am not”
Silence
“Go away”
“I want to explain”
“And I don’t want to hear your excuses”
“So far I guessed”
“You’re not funny”
“I am not trying to be. And you’re being ironic”
“That’s not my problem. You were not even invited”
“I heard”
“Eh. Funny”
Silence
“Mira is only a friend”
“Then I am only a doll”
“I am being serious”
“And I am being logical”
“I want to sort this out”
“Failed. I don’t want that to happen”
“Then just listen”
“If you don't go, I'll go”
“I’ll follow you”
“Then I can accuse you for being a stalker”
“Mira only nearly sat on my lap”
“Isn’t that enough?”
…
“I don’t want you crying”
“Then go. Every time you open your big mouth I cry. Every time you’re with me I cry. You’re such a liar. You’re disgusting, unfaithful, improper, showing your ass off. You’re everything I don’t want”
“That’s just prejudices”
“Oh. Really. Just prejudices. I am so naughty”
“Just stop it”
“Then: Just go”
“I don’t want to”
“I am not making you do anything you don’t want. I am going. I hope I never see you again”
“Do you really mean it?”
Silence. Then a hushed yes
“I told her off, you know”
…
“I told her I don’t like her that way -”
…
“I told her not to talk with me again”
…
“I told her to let me be alone”
“You’re harsh and disgusting. You think you can tell everyone you want off”
“Wasn’t that what you’d been waiting for? Weren’t you both quarreling last time I saw you?”
“We were. But that’s just between me and her”
“You’re quarreling about me”
“I didn’t notice”
“You only notice what you want”
“She was sitting on your lap and being handsome. She was nearly knocking you over, and being really helpful”
“I told you what I did”
“Why didn’t you push her before she got near you?”
“There were too many people”
“Bad excuse. And you know that”
“You’re being illogical”
“And you’re not answering my question”
“I guess we’re even now”
“In your dream, honey. I am not even close to being even with you. I am high up and you’re just being what everyone wants you to be”
“Then why are you going?”
“Didn’t I tell you honey? I don’t run around with every other boy just to let them know I am being friendly. I am not dishonest with the people I really know. I don’t put myself in any situation where I am being stepped on. I always like to be the stepper”
“Then you’re not better than everyone. I hate steppers. And Mira is my friend. And I am not being friendly with her, because she can do something for me. Mira is my cousin”
“So? What happened, happened only because you let her”
“I can’t tell a cousin of”
“If she’s bothering me I would”
“Life is not all white and black”
“Life is also colors and therefore you can do what you want. Who on earth would be unhappy if you told your cousin off? Your parents?”
“They think that I have to be –“
“Please don’t make excuses. I don’t want to hear anything from you anymore. You’re being horrible”
“Just because you’re making me horrible”
“How wouldn’t I do that? Are you the leader, or are you lead?”
“I love you”
“That’s out of the question. You should have considered that before Mira sat on your lap”
“Didn’t you hear that I pushed her away from me? Or were you looking the other way and fantasizing the scene. You don’t even know the truth”
“I know what I saw”
“JUST what you saw”
Silence
“Your hands are cold”
“What if? It’s cold and everyone is”
Silence
“Don’t go”
“I do what I want”
“Really? Why are you lying? I know that you don’t want to go”
“My heart is not everything. I have a brain and I can think”
“Now you’re being unfair, honey”
“Don’t drawl. That’s not funny”
“I am not”
“You know. I don’t care. Just do what you want”
..
“Hey! That was not what I meant”
“You liked it”
“No”
“You did”
…
“I love your blush. It stands good to your hair”
“Don’t”
“What? Compliment you? Why?”
“I don’t deserve it”
“I don’t deserve you”
…
“Guess we’re even now”
“No. We are not. Far from”
“What’s missing?”
“I am sorry”
“Why are you apologizing? YOU didn’t do anything wrong”
“I accused you of something you hadn’t done”
“That I totally deserve”
“I still want to apologize”
“What about a kiss?”
“You know you gave me the chill?”
“Yes or no?”
….
“That probably means a yes”
Silence
“Hey, honey?”
“Hmm?”
“What about getting somewhere dry?”
“Now?”
“No tomorrow! Of course I mean now”
“Just a minute”
….
“I’ll give you an hour”

Jeg kan rigtig godt lide den, flowet, måden hvor man nogengange er totalt forvirret omkring hvem der siger hvad nu, og hvordan du formår på så kort en tekst at få så mange følelser frem. At hun gennemgående er den samme følelse ind til sidst hvor hun bliver sårbar, at du kan holde den når han gennemgår så mange stadier, ked af det, undskyldende, vred, sårbar, forelsket, forurettet osv. Det er virkeligt rigtigt godt. Du er sindsygt god til sprogligt engelsk. Det fungere at læse højt eller spille det. OG så den konflikt som er sådan lidt halvklam og samtidig lidt uskyldig. At hun tager sådan på vej og så slet ikek vil lytte.

“Mira is only my friend” Mira is just a friend fordi det lyder som om han siger at Mira kun er hans ven.

“I am going if you don’t go” I'll go if you wont/don't

“I don’t want you crying” Jeg synes virkeligt ikke du kan sige det. På dansk vil det hedde "Jeg vil ikke have du græde" Og det er ikke særligt godt på engelsk. Så nok næmere noget: "Don't cry." "Please stop crying." "It's hurting me too when you're crying"

“I accused you of something you hadn’t done" I accused you for something you didn't do

Oprindeligt indsendt af JosephineNV

Jeg kan rigtig godt lide den, flowet, måden hvor man nogengange er totalt forvirret omkring hvem der siger hvad nu, og hvordan du formår på så kort en tekst at få så mange følelser frem. At hun gennemgående er den samme følelse ind til sidst hvor hun bliver sårbar, at du kan holde den når han gennemgår så mange stadier, ked af det, undskyldende, vred, sårbar, forelsket, forurettet osv. Det er virkeligt rigtigt godt. Du er sindsygt god til sprogligt engelsk. Det fungere at læse højt eller spille det. OG så den konflikt som er sådan lidt halvklam og samtidig lidt uskyldig. At hun tager sådan på vej og så slet ikek vil lytte.

Jeg er enig med JosephineNV - det er bare så godt skrevet! Virkelig fedt, at det er en samtale, og at det kun er det, de siger, man får at vide. Ikke deres bevægelser, ansigtsudtryk og så videre - det er bare slet ikke nødvendigt. Jeg nød seriøst at læse det! Great stuff, Silverina <'3

Synes det er virkelig godt skrevet. Du er meget god til engelsk. Jeg blev også lidt forvirret omrking hvem der sagde hvad. I starten troede jeg nemlig at det var pigen der bare var venner med Mira, hvilket gjorde mig meget forvirret.
Det er rigtig godt og jeg nød at læse det.

1. Tusind tak til:
Josephine, Nara og Theresa

FORDI:
de kunne lide min historie...:D

har jeg nogensinde fortalt jer alle sammen, at
jeg elsker at gøre noget, andre kan lide???
Nej?
Det tænkte jeg nok :p

Men jeg vil gerne have at I er lidt ærlige:
Og hånden på hjertet:
ER det virkelig sjovt at læse noget der er forvirrende??? :D:D:D
Måske skulle jeg have skrevet girl/boy osv. men det ville se
rigtig grimt ud - for ikke at tale om at det kræver :p ekstra arbejde fra mig :D
Måske skulle jeg gøre det nu?

Jeg synes, at det fungerer rigtig godt, som det er. Det ville ødelægge det lidt, hvis du skrev boy/girl...

Det irriterer mig dog lidt, at du ikke har lavet punktummer. Du har gjort det, når du f.eks. drengen siger flere sætninger end én, men du har ikke lavet det i slutningen... F.eks: "“– was what happened. Finish. End of sentence. Now go away” - og sådan er det hele tiden! Aldrig et punktum til sidst :S Der er også ret mange kommafejl... But WTF --'

Når det er sagt, er du ret så god til engelsk og bortset fra nogle småfejl hist og pist er det ret godt skrevet - og vildt underholdende! :D Jeg ville elske at læse nogle flere tekster af den kaliber... du er bare virkelig god til engelsk <'3

- AT VÆRE 100 PROCENT ÆRLIG -

Ev! Keep the boy/girl thingie in the mere thought! (Og det var helt sikkert ikke stavet rigtigt!)
Men nej det er en super dårlig ide jeg tænkte lidt efter jeg havde sendt beskeden (som jeg btw kom til at slette to gange! Og GOD hvor var det irriterende) at det måske lød som om jeg ikke kunne lide det forvirrende. Men det er mega fedt, Fordi det netop (for mig) går vildt hurtigt med at finde ud af igen. Hvem der er hvem, personerne er meget karikerede i hvordan de taler. Så pjat med det. Jeg kan rigtig godt lide det.

Vil du ikke prøve at få nogen til at spille det?

JEG ELSKER AT DET ER FORVIRRENDE!
Jeg elsker at man skal tænke over hvad der virkelig bliver sagt
og hvad der virkelig bliver ment..
Det er serisøst fedt! Thumbs up!

Vil glæde mig til at læse mere af den her slags :D

Oprindeligt indsendt af Silverina

1. Tusind tak til:
Josephine, Nara og Theresa

FORDI:
de kunne lide min historie...:D

har jeg nogensinde fortalt jer alle sammen, at
jeg elsker at gøre noget, andre kan lide???
Nej?
Det tænkte jeg nok :p

Men jeg vil gerne have at I er lidt ærlige:
Og hånden på hjertet:
ER det virkelig sjovt at læse noget der er forvirrende??? :D:D:D
Måske skulle jeg have skrevet girl/boy osv. men det ville se
rigtig grimt ud - for ikke at tale om at det kræver :p ekstra arbejde fra mig :D
Måske skulle jeg gøre det nu?

Jeg synes det er rigtig godt at du ikke har gjort det. Det ville gøre det for let for læseren. Det får dem til måske at læse det igen og igen. Så forstår de også selve handlingen mere. ;)